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How much do you trust yourself?

8/29/2014

1 Comment

 
Trust is the key to success in every relationship.

Yes, it's true that relationships can exist without it, but that's all they do...exist.  There's no joy or happiness in a relationship that lacks trust...no foundation for growth and development...no real meaning. In fact you could argue, that as there is no real connection or bond of trust, a relationship in the true sense of the word doesn't actually exist. It's all just transactional.

In life and in business we all have people who we trust...if we're lucky a few that we have a really strong bond with. We often choose to trust other people, after knowing them for only a short time, and based on very little info.

So why is it so often that we choose not to trust ourselves?

I'm a very trusting person...some might say ridiculously so. I trust people, and businesses, until they teach me not to.  Have I been hurt because of this...of course.

But what's hurt me a lot more in the past...what's held me back and led to me 'playing small'...has been a lack of trust in the one person I can truly rely on to always be there...ME.

And I know I'm not alone in this. We trust in other people...believe in what they say and what they do...but we don't always trust in ourselves.

I went through a particularly bad time with this a few years ago.  I stopped believing who I was.  I tried to fit in...to be who I thought people wanted me to be...to say and do the 'right' things.  And it cost me.  Friends, relationships, self esteem...people who loved me for who I really am, simply didn't want to be around a pale imitation.

Looking back it's hard to believe that I ever had so little faith in myself.

Then one day I was listening to a presentation, and from the stage came the words..."Don't be an unsung song".

At the time it was like the presenter was talking directly to me.  'Don't be an unsung song Marianne. You have a voice. You add value in the world.  You have skills and experience that can help others to fulfil their potential. Listen to your heart...get off your backside...and go be YOU'

And that's really the message I want to get across to you today. We all have doubts now and again - it's hard to trust those who say they don't, right? But our doubts should never stop us doing. They should never stop us being ourselves and giving what is truly unique about us to the world.

On those doubting days, fall back on your systems, on your daily routines...those things that keep you moving, keep you acting. That's what I always do...and it works for me.  And check out your testimonials...your e mails...the words that remind you how important you are to the people who want your stuff...want to hear what you have to say...who benefit from what you put out there.

Even if it's only one person, it's still worth it.  Even if that one person is you...you're worth it.

Don't be selfish.  Don't be scared.  Don't be an unsung song.

Trust in you...get out there...and do your thing!

Have your own thoughts on this subject?  Please leave me a comment below.

​For more information on how MPL can help you visit www.mariannepage.co.uk or contact me on hello@mariannepage.co.uk
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What do you stand for?

8/22/2014

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The other day I was having a chat with my mentor...I love having a mentor - someone who's been where you want to go, knows the positives and the pitfalls, the short-cuts and the sure-things, and just won't stand for any of your 'can't' nonsense.

I've had a few over the past few years.  Each one has been different.  Each one has challenged me to step out of my comfort zone, to improve an area of my business, to decide what I want and how I'm going to get there.

But until this week, none of them had ever asked me 'Who are you? And what do you stand for?'

The 'who am I?' bit, I think I've got pretty well nailed to be fair.  I'm comfortable in my own skin, I'm not trying to be someone I'm not, and I know what makes me, me.

But crikey!  What do I stand for?  That really got me thinking.

I know what I do.  I know who I help and how I help. I know what I'm good at.  None of those answer the question though.
So I came at it from the opposite direction and asked myself what I stand against...what riles me...what gets my goat and sends me off into a fulsome and passionate rant?

Regular readers of the Frog Blog won't be surprised to hear that what registered in the 'stand against' column were things like...
  • People peddling the nonsense that if you're not up with the larks and still awake with the owls then you're somehow not a serious business person.
  • Complex systems that waste lots of time and money
  • Waste of any sort
  • The people who say you must always put your business first (and be as friendless and relationship-less as they are)
  • Clever sales people who con new business owners into buying programmes that are obviously not right for them
  • The popular business definition of the term professional - serious, dull and boring

The stand for column is still a work in progress.  I guess you could say it's the antithesis of all of the above, but I'm not sure that would get to the heart of it. And that's what I want to do.

I'll report back when I've nailed it.  But in the meantime, tell me...

What do YOU stand for?
​
For more information on how MPL can help you visit www.mariannepage.co.uk or contact me on hello@mariannepage.co.uk
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Get Control of your Freak

8/15/2014

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Most business owners are freaks.

On the outside we appear to be normal, sane, rational human beings, who recognise logic and understand cause and effect.

Hah! Have you seen The Body Snatchers..?!  This appearance of normality is all a front!

Behind the facade, our mind and body are possessed by at least one, often several, different and disruptive personalities - the inner procrastinator, the self-talker, the sheep, the magpie, to name but a few.  Oh...and scariest of all...the control freak.

These 'personalities' do their best to undermine us...to keep us feeling and acting small...to stop our business growing. They all have success to varying degrees, and at different times...but the majority of them are founded in weakness - a weakness for shiny objects; for laziness, for believing that we'll be 'found out' - and as they are based on our weakness, they can be crushed quite easily when we are strong.

The exception to this, and the one chiefly to blame for a lack of growth in our business, is the control freak - the dominant persona built largely on ego and arrogance.  The one that is strongest when we are strong.

We all know that control is a really good thing in a business...right up to the point where it's not.

At the start, control comes easy...because we're the ones doing everything.  Something goes well, something goes badly, it's down to us.  At this stage we're grappling almost exclusively with the weakness gang...the procrastinator...the magpie...the self-talker...and the sheep.

The tipping point comes when we've successfully overcome our weaknesses and built a business that works...on our own.  That point when our business is successful...and growing...and we can no longer do everything ourselves...not without ditching holidays, and relationships and working 7 days a week.

At this point, we're strong, we're confident, our ego is big, fat and healthy...and we are a very real liability to the further growth of our business.

Why?

Because we are now at the mercy of our control freak...telling us that systems will ruin the creativity and 'flow' of our business; that you can't trust anyone; that nobody can do things like we can; that we are always right.

At the point where all our focus should be on growing our business, our control freak has us working 70 hour weeks, focusing on the day to day details, following up on everyone, trusting no-one.

You want to beat the freak, and grow your business?

1. Recognise that you are one
2. Work out what's most important to you...to control everything...or to have a life and grow your business
3. Let go in stages...don't freakout the freak! ...but do let go, and trust
4. Build solid, logical systems that will run your business
5. Either hire good people and train them to run your systems...or...hire specialists who you trust to run them for you.

The little people may never fully go away, but you'll be truly yourself again when you can say, 'I used to be a control freak. But I’ve learned to control it'

Have your own thoughts on this subject?  Please leave me a comment.
​
For more information on how MPL can help you visit www.mariannepage.co.uk or contact me on hello@mariannepage.co.uk
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Be your own Leader

8/8/2014

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I've been a bit hard on myself in the last couple of weeks.  Certain things haven't come together as quickly as I'd hoped...having finally spotted a big black hole in my business, I've had to spend time looking for someone to help me fill it...and I've been getting really cross with myself for still not having everything under control.  Yes...very cross, and very grumpy!

And I know I'm not alone in getting like this.

Many of you will know I ran a survey last week, to research why we don't achieve what we set out to every year, and what our biggest frustrations are day to day.

As expected, there was an incredible amount of self-flagellation in the responses.  We are all so good at beating ourselves up, seeing our own faults, and as business owners and leaders...taking personal responsibility for any failures or lack of progress on our part. And that's great...to an extent.  It's good to take ownership, to recognise our own weaknesses, and to think about how we could things differently or better going forward.

But we also need to take time to give ourselves a bit of recognition for what we have achieved, for what we have done well, and for how far we've come.  Why is it we're so ready to overlook the good stuff?

When you are reviewing an employee's performance, you take the time to tell them what they have done well, before you look at the areas you want them to work on and improve.  It's just good leadership.  You want the individual to be inspired to do better going forward.

So let's do the same for ourselves.  Let's have our own performance management system.

At the end of every week, as we're planning for the week to come...let's agree now that we're going to take time out to think positively...about how our business has progressed since the early days...how much we have learned...how many people we have helped, supported, maybe changed their lives.  Thinks of all the things you're really good at...all the good stuff you've done...and how much fun you've had doing it.

Make it a routine...and then a habit to review all of the things we have done well, before we look at the areas we need to work on and improve.  We are the number 1 employee of our business...let's give ourselves a bit of recognition, and inspire ourselves to be even better going forward.

Are you in?
​
For more information on how MPL can help you visit www.mariannepage.co.uk or contact me on hello@mariannepage.co.uk
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How to kill your business

8/1/2014

0 Comments

 
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It was a gorgeous summer evening last Friday, and for the second week running, Sas and I decided to go to the local pub…well, why not!

It’s a lovely old pub right on the river, that went out of business some time ago, and was brought back to life with great fanfare several years later, but sadly it seems without any of the lessons learned around why it went out of business in the first place.

It’s very nicely done out, with a separate restaurant area, a lovely beer garden, and a big car park…all in a lovely village setting and on the main thoroughfare between Bedford and Northampton.

What it doesn’t have is a management team with any real clue about what it takes to attract and delight their customers.
Which brings me back to last Friday evening…

So there we were enjoying a Peroni in the sunshine, the garden filling nicely with the after-workers, and the school-holidayers, all dying to quench their thirst, and maybe stay and have a bite to eat. It was a lovely relaxing environment, and as people started to order food, you could tell that there was real potential that many would make an evening of it.
Sadly, the pub had other ideas.

Just after 7.15, having been met by friends, we decided that we would eat there, and so I went to the bar to get menus…only to be informed by a rather bolshy, frazzled-looking woman behind the bar, that they had ‘run out of food’!

At 7.15 on a lovely summer Friday evening, with the restaurant completely empty!

I asked about the pizzas that they serve from a separate kitchen in the garden…’we’ve run out of bases’. And ‘No we can’t make any more…have you any idea how long it takes to make those bases?’

At that point another group of people walked through the door, which caused the woman to throw her hands in the air, with a ‘Where are all these people coming from?’

Falty Towers ring a bell??

Needless to say, we, and most of the other groups left to find food elsewhere. We spent £100 between us at a local curry house. Goodness knows what they lost in total.

It left me angry. People used to travel for miles to eat at the two pubs in our village - bad management and the recession (to be fair) drove them both out of business - and now they are back, with the goodwill of the village, and the local area behind them, and they are making the same mistakes again.

For me there are 3 lessons for all of us from this tale of woe…and an empty stomach.
  1. Have good systems that ensure that the business runs smoothly whether you are there or not; that ensure you plan effectively for potential business, and that you make the most of it; that ensure you have enough product to meet potential demand, and enough staff to service it; that give your customers a great experience.
  2. Train your people in your systems, including your customer service systems, and only put those people who are excellent with your customers, in a position to work with them. [It turns out ‘the woman’ was an interim chef, who had been left in charge of the restaurant while the manager was away!] Set high standards for your people to follow.
  3. Be flexible and adapt to changes and opportunities.  Many pubs jump on the football bandwagon, but very few seem aware of the potential of local events, national events, or changes in the weather.  In this example, the pub didn’t even learn from the success of the week before and adapt to it, losing hundreds of pounds as a result!


The death of this business will be an inside job.Self sabotage will kill it. Make sure self sabotage does not kill yours.
​
For more information on how MPL can help you visit www.mariannepage.co.uk or contact me on hello@mariannepage.co.uk

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